nearamir: (Both sterner and wiser)
Faramir of Gondor ([personal profile] nearamir) wrote2024-07-08 03:18 am

for veryfond

[He has spent more and more time with the Lady of Rohan, as their recoveries progress. At first, it was largely for Elia's sake: seeing how she split herself between him and her old friend, knowing how tired she must be, knowing that once the children returned there would be more difficulty still, it seemed best to take a little of the weight off her shoulders.]

[At first. But then, he actually met Éowyn, began to break down the armour of her hostility, and there is more to it, now. There is a deeper sorrow in her, grief both old and new, calling out to his pity; and there is a strength and a steel behind it that is undeniable, a nobility that she carries even in the depths of despair. Most of all, there is understanding. They both of them faced the same darkness, looked it in the eye; both of them have walked to the edge of the same dark place, and dragged themselves back to the light.]

[It stopped being about Elia some time ago. They do not talk of her much, these days - though he thinks that may be because Éowyn is not prepared to reopen whatever wound is there, and he does not mean to be the one to uncover it. They talk of losses, and of grief, and of hope and the new world before them. She talks of the darkness, and he reminds her of the light. Both of them, at times, weep.]

[But the more they talk, the more the sense of that something grows: that history between her and Elia, which none of them speak of, the knowledge that she knows things about his wife that he does not, and that that there is a tension pulling them all in different directions. He is sensitive to such things.]

[Éowyn is healed enough to speak of returning to Rohan. The thought pains him, obscurely; if nothing else, she has become a close friend. But there is more to it than that, and he is too honest to pretend to himself that there is not.]

[He has left the Houses of Healing at last, returning to his own rooms. He is lying with his arm around Elia, carding his fingers through her hair, when he says suddenly:]
How long were you lovers?
veryfond: (057)

[personal profile] veryfond 2024-07-27 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ Elia meets his gaze readily enough, yet she cannot help but feel like they are speaking of two different things. Yes, of course she has not wronged Faramir by having a lover before him. But many men would be upset at her for it anyway, and even if they weren't, they likely would not be so eager to have her speak of it with Éowyn. ]

I do not really think I have hurt you or her. [ She sighs, moving to sit up against the headboard. ] That is the problem. No one has done anything wrong yet we are all hurting. Éowyn cares for us both now [ unlike him, Elia isn't just going to throw around the word love. ] but I'm sure it pains her, that we have each other when she is alone.

But I am glad you came to me first. Even when we were girls, she wanted to be the sort of person who did not show her feelings to the world.

[ A ghost of a smile on her face now, as Elia had always found her failure in this regard rather endearing. Now she cannot forget the look on Éowyn's face when it became clear that she did not just have a husband, she had a husband that she loved. How is she supposed to fix that? ]
veryfond: do not take (096)

[personal profile] veryfond 2024-08-03 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ She does not hesitate in taking his hand when he reaches for her. It is not that she no longer wants his comfort after all. Just... being that close was feeling a little stifling.

He is right to think of her as most successful in hiding herself. In truth, she cannot remember the last time she truly allowed herself to feel things fully- besides those moments when she thought him gone. Perhaps if her brother was here, or if she had some friend with whom she did not share a complicated romantic past- but no.

Truthfully, in spite of how she wished not to have this conversation at all, Faramir is right. She and Éowyn need to talk plainly, for both of their sakes. What grates at her (something that she hesitates to call annoyance, though that is what it is) is that she could not come to this conclusion on her own. Perhaps it was not right for her to keep this from Faramir, but she would have preferred he raise the subject more gently. Just something else that she cannot control. ]


I do wish her brother would have stayed. [ Then at least it would not be all on Elia and this conversation he wants them to have, to help Éowyn through this difficult time. ] I am afraid for her as well, but I will not assume the worst. She will find a new kind of strength, one with less armor. [ She squeezes his hand. Somehow, hearing him worry has made her feel more willing to reassure him, to have hope.

Still, a thought lingers in her mind, Faramir's freezing cold wound. The pain he and Éowyn share. Is she hoping for too much? ]
veryfond: do not take (092)

[personal profile] veryfond 2024-08-12 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ She notices how his hand drifts to his ribs, and wonders what he must be thinking. In some ways he can do more for Éowyn than Elia can now. She sometimes ponders what they speak of when they are alone together. Éowyn's loneliness is obvious, but she knows Faramir has held himself apart from nearly everyone besides her and his brother. Now, there is only her. Perhaps it is unwise to shoo her feelings for Éowyn away, given how entwined they have become, but she does not know what will happen if she feels them fully.

What he says, in the end, catches her off-guard. ]
You do not have to worry about that. [ It was not him who came between them. It was Rhaegar first, and even before him, it was duty. Duty was what made Éowyn leave Dorne and what made Elia never travel to Rohan. But it is not what keeps her by Faramir's side now.

Her hand still grasping his, she moves closer again, until her shoulder brushes his own. ]
I love you. [ It is the truth, and it has not changed. Still, she cannot pretend that him knowing about her and Éowyn has not made her feel slightly off-kilter. But she will adapt. She always has. ]
veryfond: do not take (107)

[personal profile] veryfond 2024-08-18 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It is best not to dwell on those sorts of possibilities, Elia has learned. The occasional thought that she wishes she had met him first just makes her feel guilty, because what would that mean for her children? She has lived the life she has, and there is nothing she can do to change the past. ]

I feel the same way about you. [ After all he has done for her, it is the least she could do, to try her best to make him happy. It's a thought that makes her push aside any previous annoyance, to the point that she's caught off-guard when he brings it up.

She smiles. ]
I know you only do what you think is best.

[ And given her experience with marriage, it is hard to get too mad at him- or to express it, at the very least. ]
veryfond: (128)

[personal profile] veryfond 2024-08-26 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ After the kiss, she does feel a bit better. ]

I will be on guard when we break our fast from now on, then. [ There is a ghost of a laugh in her voice, and she does not hesitate in lying down next to him, kissing him one final time on the cheek before attempting to find rest.

Yet the sense of disquiet lingers into her dreams, and she cannot help but think that something has changed, small yet irrevocable. What exactly it will mean she does not yet know. Elia wishes she did. ]